Let’s start this article off with a pop quiz. That’s right, you can learn and have fun at the same time, who would have guessed! The rules are simple, get all three questions right and you are a winner, get any of the questions wrong then your forfeit is knowing that you’ll have to spend the rest of your life as a failure. Sound good? Great, let’s begin.
Question One: Which footballer has the best twitter account in the world?
A nice easy one for you to start off with. The answer is obviously James Milner. That’s right unlike his parody account ‘Boring James Milner’ the real James Milner seems like a right laugh and is always up to some crazy antics like keeping you in the loop with his shoelace tying techniques and of course, teaching us how to find the perfect Mini Egg.
Question two: Name the most creative footballer in Champion League this season?
Now, if you answered with any of the following: Ronaldo, Messi, Neymar, Iniesta, Suarez, or Kieran Trippier then you would be wrong! The answer is, of course, the ‘Yorkshire Figo’ AKA James ‘how can I assist you’ Milner. That’s right, on Tuesday night Milner broke Neymar and Wayne Rooney’s joint record by getting his ninth assist of the Champions League season.
Lastly, to prove once and for all that you aren’t a failure and finally get that look of acceptance from your dad. Question three: Who should come out of international retirement and win England the World Cup?
If you answered Wayne Rooney I have two questions for you. What are you doing on a Liverpool news site? And how does it feel to be clinically diagnosed as stupid? As always, the answer is James Milner. He might not be the footballing hero we deserve but my god he’s the footballing hero we need!
The Yorkshire Figo has lit Europe on fire this season with vision and his rigorous work rate. He managed to become the most creative Champions League player in history on Tuesday when Roberto Firmino did him a solid and headed in his corner for Liverpool’s fifth goal of the night in a 5-2 romp.
However, it’s not just in the Champions League where Milner has been in fine form, he has also become the hidden backbone of this revitalised Liverpool team. In fact, Mr. Versatile has played in eight of the traditional eleven positions in his career and in all honesty, he plays better than the people he’s filling in for (Sorry Moreno). People would do well to remember that behind every Egyptian Presidential runner-up candidate is a James Milner assisting them.
I’ll leave you with some wise words my dad told me as a child: “It’s James Milner’s world and we’re just living in it”.